LIFE.

I’m not going to promise you anything. I’m not going to re-assure you that this time will be different. I want to show you that this time.. You’ll be put before everybody and everything else. I want to prove to you Steven. Actions speak louder than words.

I wake up everyday crying and hoping that it’s all just a dream. That none of it ever happened. That we’re still together and still pushing past everything. A year and 5 months may seem like nothing to some people but to me those 17 months with you were just pure genuine happiness. A gift from the man above. You were brought to me when I’ve lost all hope in everything, Lately I haven’t been myself. After you left for college I felt like something was missing. Friends, adventures, memories to make. None of it was me. None of the parties, the dancing, the tattoos, the drinking, the smoking. None of it was my scene. Now that you’re gone I’m stuck in this swirling vortex of loving you. Everything we’ve ever fought over, everything we’ve ever disagreed on…. I’m the one to blame. I had someone that was so unbelievably perfect and I ruined everything. I’m willing to go to the ends of the Earth to fix things. To make things right. I’m willing to wait forever to be with you and show you that I’ve changed.. But I just need to know that I’m actually waiting for something. I just need to know that in the end.. You’ll still be there.